LYRICS

I MARRIED A MAN WITH A MUSHROOM FARM

I married a man with a mushroom farm

He smelled like moss and had fungal charm

He whispered sweet nothings through a filter mask

And proposed with a spore in a mayonnaise flask



Now he glows in the dark and he hums in C

Has a mushroom cap where his hat should be

He don't say much but he sings to the mold

And he's 32 but he looks 300 years old



Our honeymoon was in a fallout ditch

We toasted with broth and a two headed fish

He gave me a ring made of lichen and lead

I said I do though my Geiger counter said red



Now he glows in the dark and he sprouts at night

Says Honey let's cuddle and gives me a fright

The neighbors say I've lost my mind

But mold is love and love is blind



He's got puffballs where his elbows go

And truffles in his chest hair row by row

I tried to leave once the door grew shut

Now the spores say Stay and I'm in a rut



So if you fall for a shroom tycoon

Don't kiss him under a glowin' moon

He'll charm your nose and steal your heart

And turn you to mulch 'fore the next song start