DON'T EAT THE BISCUITS IN CRATE 29
Well we found a crate near the old fault line
A dusty old box marked 2-9
We cracked it open with a hopeful cheer
Now someone's laughing in reverse right here
Oh we were digging through the wreckage by the rusted rail
When a fella found a box and began to wail
He said biscuits girls they're looking fine
But now he's got a third eye and he dreams in brine
Don't eat the biscuits in Crate 29
They sizzle like a fuse and taste like pine
They wiggle when you butter hum when chewed
One tap danced off in a terrible mood
Mabel gave a bite to her bunker cat
Now he's doing calculus and wearing a hat
Billy tried to nibble with some mutant jam
Now his eyebrows talk and his nose goes blam
Don't eat the biscuits in Crate 29
They glow in the dark and whisper mine
They whimper they wiggle they bark they whine
It's like snacking on a landmine
We tried to toss them in the burning stack
But they crawled right out and came right back
We buried one deep under concrete weight
It mailed itself home with a note that said late
They don't go stale they don't go soft
One climbed the tower and set it aloft
They smell like soup and buzz like bees
And they once made a marriage with a can of peas
Don't eat the biscuits in Crate 29
They'll rewrite your brain and reroute spine
If you're hungry darling chew your boot
But those biscuits bite back and file a dispute
So here's our oath and final line
Don't eat the biscuits in Crate 29